Being A Parent After Divorce

15 January 2015
 Categories: Law, Blog


Divorce is becoming more common in our day and age. In fact, almost fifty percent of marriages in America end in divorce. It is no wonder that many young people are choosing to live with one another instead of making the commitment of marriage. However, once married with children, the most common worry after divorce is the children. Many parents ask if they will be okay in the end.

Hope For Children After Divorce

If you are a parent in the middle of divorce, you may question whether your child can grow up to be a well-adjusted adult. Although your child may be at greater risk for maladjustment in the circumstances of divorce, they are not doomed. There are two main elements to remember as a parent. First, try your best to have a positive relationship with your spouse. Second, maintain and enhance good parent-child relationships.

1) Co-parenting

Working with an ex-spouse to rear your children may not be the easiest. In fact, in some circumstances, good quality co-parenting may not be possible. For example, if your ex-spouse was abusive in any way to you or your children, there may be a court order to stop all contact. So what does that mean for your children? If there is no way a good co-parenting relationship is possible, does that mean your children will not fare well? Not necessarily. There are many children of divorced and single parents that grow up to be well-adjusted adults. So what makes the difference? Good parent-child relationships.

2) Quality Parent-child Relationships

Despite the ramifications of divorce and all its difficulties, there is one thing that you can do to help your children through it all: enhance your relationship with each child individually and collectively. How? There are many ways, but each child and circumstance is different. However, here are a few ideas to keep in mind as you work towards your overall goal:

  1. Be warm and responsive in all interactions.

  2. Spend time with each child individually.

  3. Take care of their needs. This may seem like a no-brainer, but feeding your children, keeping them bathed, and providing them with a safe environment are the simple things that will have great impacts in the future.

  4. Implement assertive discipline with kindness and flexibility.

  5. Do not share personal or negative things with your child about your ex-spouse unless necessary.

Divorce is hard and can include fighting over children, paying for child support, facing family members and friends, raising the children, and more. However, there is hope for your children when you strive to improve your co-parenting skills and enhance parent-child relationships. Contact a family lawyer, like McKissick & McKissick, if you need help navigating through your divorce.