Time To Tell Your Spouse You Want A Divorce? 6 Ways To Communicate Effectively

20 February 2015
 Categories: Law, Blog


Now that you've decided to hire a divorce lawyer, you're going to need to break the news to your spouse. News travels fast, so you should discuss your decision with your spouse as soon as possible. Here are a few tips that will help you explain your decision in a effective manner.

Choose Your Method Of Communication

If you don't feel comfortable sitting down with your spouse, it's okay to choose an alternate method. However, it's important that the news come from you. Your spouse will feel much better if the news doesn't come from a third party. Write a letter, or explain in a phone call, but make sure that you break the news.

Try To Remain Calm

You're going to be experiencing many emotions but it's important that you remain calm during your conversation. Discuss the issues as you see them. Go over the attempts you've made to fix the problems in your marriage. If you feel yourself getting too emotional, take a minute to gather your thoughts.

Rely On Your Own Feelings

Now that you're having the discussion, you need to rely on your own feelings about the marriage. Avoid turning the conversation into the problems you see with your spouse. Pointing the finger at your spouse can escalate the conversation into a battle.

Avoid Argumentative Language

The last thing you want is an argument, especially if you're hoping for an amicable divorce. Try to avoid becoming argumentative or accusatory. This is particularly important if your spouse uses arguments as a way to control the conversation. Rather than argue, calmly explain your feelings and repeat your intentions.

Be Prepared For More Than One Conversation

If your spouse has a difficult time accepting your decision, you may need to have several conversations before they're finally able to accept that the marriage is over. Once your spouse is able to accept that divorce is inevitable, you'll be able to begin negotiating a divorce agreement.

Seek Help If Needed

If you've been the victim of domestic violence, you should seek help before discussing divorce with your spouse. You should not sit down with your spouse to discuss divorce if you fear for your safety. A divorce lawyer (such as Kolker Law Offices PC) will be able to help you through the process.

If you've decided to file for divorce, you'll need to inform your spouse. You can use these simple steps to help keep the conversation amicable.