Getting ready to get a divorce can be a very difficult thing, especially if you are trying to do it without tipping off your spouse. You may need to do it that way if you are in a potentially unsafe situation, or you have reason to believe that your spouse may do things like empty your joint bank accounts or leave you in a bad situation. There are things that you can do in order to get yourself in a good place to safely get a divorce.
Start Separating Your Money
One of the things you should do is start quietly separating your money. This means you should start your own bank account with only your name on it. You should make sure that you use a different bank than where your joint account is. Arrange for any and all mail that comes from that bank to go to a different address-- either a P.O. box or a good friend who will keep your secret. If you can't have your entire paycheck or other income source sent there, arrange to have part of it sent to that account. That way, you will have at least some money that is available to you no matter what.
Get a Burner Phone
These are inexpensive cell phones that can be pay-as-you-go. You can arrange for calls from your new bank, leasing agents, or divorce lawyers to call that number so that you can take their calls without your spouse knowing. The reason to have an inexpensive cell phone that isn't on a plan is that it is more difficult for your spouse to trace and you can dispose of it easily.
Contact a Divorce Lawyer
You are also going to need to contact a divorce attorney. Not only is getting in to see an attorney as early as possible a good way to protect yourself, your assets, and your children, if you start seeing your attorney early in the process, you can present your spouse with all the necessary papers on the same day that you are ready to move yourself and your children out of the house into a new living situation. That can leave your spouse playing catch up, which can work to your advantage.
If you know that you are getting a divorce and that you are going to need to do it quietly, then knowing what to do can really help you.