Make Sure Your Communication Style Doesn't Sabotage Your Divorce

22 January 2019
 Categories: Law, Blog


Divorce is never easy, even under the best conditions. But it can be downright miserable when the couple's primary issue is poor communication skills. Unfortunately, being unable to effectively communicate with one another is often the root cause of why some couple's divorce to begin with. The good news is that while you can't control your ex, you can control your own behavior. Here are three tips for making sure your communication skills aren't hurting your own case.

Be Careful How You Say Things

It would be odd if both parties didn't have some degree of hurt and anger, but constantly bringing that negativity to the table when you are going through negotiations is only going to be counterproductive. Commit to choosing your words carefully and not using them to lash out and rip open wounds that are trying to heal. Watch your tone of voice as well. Don't talk down to your partner or say things they will interpret as disrespectful. Take the high road, even if your soon-to-be ex-spouse doesn't.

Cease All Forms of Written Communication

Many people going through a divorce think texting or emailing is a better communication choice because they can avoid a potential conflict that may occur in person or on the phone. This couldn't be further from the truth, though.

Text messages and emails can be easily misconstrued; it's too easy to incorrectly read between the lines. Additionally, some people share more than they should when they are writing, as that format makes it easier for them to say how they really feel about things. The problem with this is your words may come back to haunt you. Text messages and emails are easily saved and printed, which means they can be entered into evidence in court. The only written communication that should occur between you and your spouse should be done via your divorce attorney.

Stay Off Social Media

Just as your text messages and emails can potentially be used against you, so can anything you post in your social media accounts. Your best course of action is to suspend using any social media accounts at all. The last thing you need is mutual friends or family members knowing your business or reporting back to your spouse what you are supposedly doing or saying. Don't give your opponent any ammunition.

If you find communication with your partner to be just as difficult as ever, ask your divorce law attorney about the possibility of mediation. This can be an effective tool to keep couples streamlined on the goal—negotiating an agreement as quickly, painlessly, and inexpensively as possible.